Shundria Riddick

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April 22, 2018 By shundria

Out of the Boat and Waiting in the Water

Out of all the things I had to get done today, writing a blog was not one of them. So in sincere “attention challenged” fashion, I write anyway. I found something else to do instead of what I’m supposed to be working on. This is my story. This is my song!

Oh how I enjoy writing to you. Emptying my mind and telling you how the Lord speaks in the midst of my crazy is my therapy. It is how I share the good news I receive in my time with the Lord.

My days are crazy. I decided to take my own advice and jump out of the safety of my boat! The Lord is showing himself faithful minute by minute. That’s how I’m living life. Minute by minute. Taking one step and waiting for the Lord to tell me when to move again because if left up to me, I’d convince myself to run quickly in the wrong direction.

I am in a place where I am being pulled in every direction and uncertain of my own abilities to manage them. It’s been day after day waiting and receiving “daily bread.” Everyday, the Lord has given me enough for that day. And when I open my eyes the next, I am grateful and wait for the day’s direction

I have been fighting and resisting this place. Ugh! I need to KNOW! The human, independent, prideful part of me needs to know the layout and direction in full. Not in part!

Anyway…I digress!

Remembering the instructions of Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and he will make your paths straight.”

I have had several conversations with myself about being here a few times before. Back then I opted to get out of the water and back into my boat. The force of the winds and waves of life pushed me to focus on my own lack of strength instead of omnipotence of my God! So as I talk to myself, I remind me that I know all too well how it feels to walk in a false sense of security inside the familiarity of my boat. It’s a place also known as fear. It robs you of experiencing the promises and purpose that the Lord has so freely extended. Fear doesn’t allow for anything but limits you in everything. I am very familiar with this place of emptiness and regret.

NOT THIS TIME!

Have you been there? Or are you here with me? Waiting. Wondering. Not knowing how or when? Have you been or are you in that place where the Lord is showing you that your time frame is not His? Is He demonstrating that you are limited by time but He is eternal?

Are you being reminded that He is in control and not your desires? Is He teaching you to sift your desires through his word?

As I lamented about the winds and rain outside of the boat, I was swiftly reminded that this is the place where He wants us. Total dependence on Him. Not on our own abilities and fears. This is where He teaches us His priorities as we abandon our own. We learn patience, courage, and His goodness.

I want to encourage you as I encourage myself.

It’s in this place that we see the magnificence of a God who wanted us even when we didn’t want Him.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us.” I John 4:10

I am overwhelmed that He wants us to know Him:

“God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” Acts 17:27.

I am humbled that the God of the Universe wants us to come closer. The more He pulls the more we reach.

So with tear stained faces, we exhale, unclench our fists and we wait in the water. Not because we are confident in ourselves and our waiting. But we are confident in the One whom we are waiting on! The One who has the power to calm the winds and waves. He is the same One who placed that power in us! He wants to lead and guide us to the place that He has appointed just for us.

Go ahead. Look around. This is not a place of fear and worry. It’s a place where the Providence of God reigns. This place where he prepares us in humility to depend only on Him!

Rest in Him.

Trust Him fully.

He is ABLE!

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

And the comfort in all of this is that we may not understand why we wait but we don’t have to wait alone.

He is Here!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Blessings!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: alone, boat, control, direction, empty, encouragement, fear, jump, plan, purpose, taith, uncertainty, waiting

April 9, 2018 By shundria

When LIfe Hurts

There is so much going on these days. When I turn on the TV, log on social media or listen to the radio, I can’t escape it. People are hurting!

I have the privilege of listening and walking with those who are hurting. It’s an humbling responsibility and I am grateful. Emotional pain does not discriminate. I’ve come to an obvious conclusion that hurt has touched us all. It’s rarely welcomed. It’s often a spouse, child, parent, family member or close friend who hurt you the deepest. Sometimes it can be a result of your own mistakes. Failed relationships, rejection, mistrust, disappointment, abuse, and unmet expectations are a few of the many ways in which you can experience emotional pain.

Regardless of the source of your pain, you just want relief. You long for someone to say or do something that will resolve your restless heart. You cry. Lose sleep. Read empty words of self-help books. You long to be comforted. Held. Set free.

You want to hear “I love you” or “I forgive you.” You want someone to say “It’s OK. I’m here and I’m not leaving.” You long for security and acceptance. You crave hope. You crave deliverance. You crave restoration. You crave rescue.

I have had my share of pain. It has turned calm days into raging storms. I, too, have longed for resolve and rest. In all of my tears and heartache, I have learned that my place of security can’t be in people.

Of course God gives you people who love and support you. They comfort and pray for you. However, at some point, they won’t be there. They will not respond to a text or call. They will disappoint you or you will let them down.  Your security and hope has to be in the Lord!

As a therapist I know that talking out this kind of pain takes time. Time that untangles the lies of isolation and fear. Time that breaks down lies of the past or present. Time that restores the truth of who you are and  how much you are loved. Time that equips. Time that restores.

Relief and restoration comes through the presence and words of someone who loves and cares.

So…Here they are.

I love you.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

I forgive you.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9

It’s OK. I’m here and I’m not leaving.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

You are secure. Nothing will come between us.

“No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

I accept you as you are.

“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.” John 6:37

I am your hope.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” I Peter 5:10

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

This may all seem very simple. I understand that situations involve many variables that create extreme complexity. This post is not intended to minimize. Nor is it intended to disregard. It is intended to turn towards an all sufficient God who heals your pain. It is undeniable that He is present. He cares. He listens. He answers. He is Love. He is our greatest Hope.

Blessings!

“…and after you have done everything to stand, Stand firm then,…” Ephesians 6:13b

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: counseling, emotional pain, encouragement, family, hope, life, marriage, men, restoration, singles, therapy, waiting, women

December 23, 2017 By shundria

Freedom To Choose

I have the wonderful opportunity to walk with those who are at challenging times in their lives. Some are needing new perspectives. Others are confused about current life situations. How can this happen to me? What do I do now? I definitely don’t assume that I have all the answers but I do know that sometimes it takes someone to shed new light on old situations. Or maybe to ask the right questions. Or challenge a way of thinking.

The most refreshing of those that I encounter are couples that are exploring the new terrains of love and relationships. They have felt their hearts being gripped by the intensity of what is often described as love. These are the ones that make my dimly lit office alive and vibrant with intense discussions of who did what and why. “I don’t understand how he could…” And “does she really hear me?” It’s in these times we begin to investigate the landscape of personal histories and the authenticity of intent. When we explore we often realize that we are the sum total of the impact of our own experiences that have formed our beliefs. Which in turn influences our feelings and determines our behaviors. Even in this, we settle in on our heart’s deepest need to be loved and our thirst to be chosen. The kind of chosen where we can rest in the hope that the conditions of the choice do not change. As we so desperately try to get to this place, again we are reminded that each of us are incapable of loving perfectly. We cannot seek the kind of healing from someone who is also broken. Fragmented people can only make fragmented choices. Choices that are contingent upon us and our own needs.

At this point in our time together, hopelessness starts to make its appearance. Making its case to begin the processes of blame and resentment. Laying the groundwork for anger and unforgiveness. This is when I sit up in my chair and straighten myself to remind some and introduce others to a choice that has already been made!
We have been chosen by a perfect God who loves us perfectly.

Sounds simple. A little too simple to help with the complexities of relationships and love. But let’s just sit in the thought of an “already” choice.

John 15:16-17 “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, and so whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: love each other.”

When we are in love with someone, we interact with the world around us with a sense of security. We enter conversations with confidence and without interest in any needs being met. We know that we have the love and protection of another. It settles us and we give more of ourselves without the requirement of reciprocity. In other words, when we are full and have a source for food we can feed others freely. We meet them where they need most. No, this does not mean that all single people are walking around thirsty for connection and all of those in relationships aren’t. What I mean is that when you feel loved and chosen, you don’t seek it from another source.

Already being chosen by a perfect God settles us and we are then free to choose to meet the other where they need the most. We love more fully. We are no longer looking to be healed by someone who is sick. We know that perfect love can only be given by a perfect Savior. And He has given it freely. It’s already done. In that love we find healing and wholeness. We know that the grace that we receive in HIs choice humbles us to freely extend this grace to others.

As a result, we are free to choose one another. Free to choose peace. Free to choose the interests of another. Free to choose patience. Free to choose kindness. Free to choose joy. Free to choose grace.

All because our needs have been met by the One who has chosen us freely.

That’s Good Stuff.

Blessings!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: choice, choose, counseling, couples, freedom, husband, individual counseling, love, marriage, marriage counseling, mother, relationships, singles, wife, women

July 1, 2017 By shundria

No Applause

There are times when we will be called to do something great.

We may see it as great. We work hard on it and have sleepless nights. We ponder over it. We pray. We fast. We put our very best into it.

But what if it isn’t seen as great by others? What if the world sees it as trivial or inconsequential?

Others may not appreciate what you do.  Many will not even see what you do. They may not see the hours of work. The lack of sleep. The prayers. The time and effort.

Is it still great?

What if there is no applause?

Christ was considered great until his call became his cross.  He was lied on. Hated. Tortured. Even Killed

(Well, they thought so anyway!)

But it was great!  Without it, there would not have been a resurrection. We would have been without redemption for sins. Lost. Destined for an eternity separate from Him.

It was great.

So…While you fulfill your call, there may be no applause. There may be no appreciation. Many may not see your greatness.

What if your call becomes your cross?

You may be fighting for your children and they may fight back. They may not value your effort. They may not understand the path that you are trying to keep them on.  But it is Great!

You may be fighting for your marriage. It may not be appreciated or understood. You are in your prayer closet calling on the name of the Lord.  You are fighting for your family. It is great!

What is your call?

Some are called to lead companies. Some are called to clean them. Some to repair. Some to childcare. Some to care for the elderly or the disabled. Some to pray. It could be to lead a great ministry or to work within one. Some to write letters of encouragement. Maybe it’s to reconcile with an old friend. It could be to forgive someone and make peace while leading them to the love of Christ.

Whatever it is, it may seem insignificant.

“And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42

No applause.

No appreciation.

But it is GREAT!

Don’t stop.

Keep going!

“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” Hebrews 6:10-12


“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Hebrews 13:16


“Whatever yo do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24


“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9



Blessings!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

June 3, 2017 By shundria

Use Your Wings!

Days are busy and summer is NOT a break!

I’ve fooled myself for many years thinking that summer was a break from the stress and schedule of the school year. But I’ve come to realize that we just fill the time slots with many other activities. Swimming lessons, music lessons, camps, practices etc.

I’m just as busy now as I was a few months ago. I must say that I prefer this kind of being on the move. I am enjoying every minute of it!

Having three kids means I’m usually dropping off, picking up or trying to coordinate with my husband in making sure we end the day with all three. Seriously!

As I hurried to pick up a kid from another activity, I noticed a bird trying to walk across a busy street. Cars were moving quickly and it stood to wait for the right moment.

Huh?

I thought to myself “Why is the bird walking across the street?”

I shook my head and thought “You can fly! What are you doing?”

I just assumed that it was trying to get to food in the middle of the road. That had to be it. Why would a bird, with the capability of flying over the madness, choose to walk through it?

Immediately, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper “Exactly.Why are you trying to maneuver through situations that you were created to fly over?”

Goodness Gracious!

This one hit me! HARD!

Some struggles are not for me. There are some situations, people, or feelings I should not attempt to engage or entwine.

Am I the only one?

How many of us are hiking through the terrain of unproductive situations, relationships, feelings, debates, and conflict that we are meant to circumnavigate?

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Corinthians 15:57


“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17


“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If  God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31


“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Why are we developing strategies to march when we have been given wings to soar?

Blessings!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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